The Scary Future

I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I’ll be graduating with my Master’s Degree(s) soon, and it feels weird that I won’t be a student anymore. There was about a year and a half where I was only working, but I’d already signed up for a Master’s overseas and knew I would be leaving. I still felt like a student. Now the end is near and I really don’t know where I’m going.

A year ago I might have told you that I was going to go into supply chain (a field which is still interesting to me) and work my way up the management ladder. I’ve been interested in maritime logistics for a while, and happily I plan on moving to a major port city after graduation. However, the more I learn about food and lifestyle and how it affects our health, and the more I explore my anxiety, the more I doubt that I want to be in an office all day.

But even more importantly, this journey towards health and healing, and this study abroad over seas, is really exposing the confidence in myself I knew I had but was scared to find. My boss used to tell me that I was frustrating because I was quick and smart but would always second-guess myself. Ever since then, I actively try to realize when I’m second guessing, and when I should stand firm with my solutions.

I want to do something meaningful with my life. I don’t know if that means owning my own business, which is a thought that’s been dancing around my mind for a while and is starting to become more of an option than a dream. Or it may mean that I become an important business person and get involved in the community that way. I just don’t know. Should I work for ten years (or some other arbitrary amount of time), or should I hit the ground running? Should I, with student loans looming, take some time off to network and find some mentors who can help me refine my ideas? I do have some ideas, after all – they’re just floating around aimlessly in my brain, but I haven’t the slightest notion of how to turn them into plans of action.

Ah, growing up . . . . what to do, what to do.

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